I can hardly believe that my first year of nursing school is behind me! It is just now starting to sink in that I have completed two semesters and am 2/5 of the way through my nursing school journey.
My first semester was uniquely difficult as I first began to navigate through my nursing classes, adapt to a new college campus, and meet over a hundred new classmates. Everything about nursing felt foreign to me. The second semester was different. I could hold a stethoscope the right way, take a blood pressure with confidence, and clearly explain the RAAS system for my patho final. I felt prepared, but I soon realized that this year was going to be filled with new challenges! My first clinical experience was completely strange. Interacting with real patients totally intimidated me at first. I could handle mannequins, but giving real people shots made me nervous. Still, being brought into the clinical setting every week forced me to learn quickly, and I was soon taking blood sugars and removing IVs without any anxious thoughts.
The pure quantity of information was what made second semester most difficult! Memorizing everything from syringe sizes to electrolyte levels to aseptic technique was challenging, but it was made easier as we practiced everything in clinical. We got to see the information from our textbooks directly apply to our hospital encounters, and it was such a rewarding experience! I decided early on that pharmacology was NOT a passion of mine. As my mounds of flashcards grew, so did my anxiety about taking our final...Thankfully our professors were really amazing and worked with us to help us wrap our minds around the hundreds of medications we attempted to learn.
One of my favorite parts about second semester was having a group of girls in my class who I could spend time with and get to know better through the year. During the first semester, every face was new, but this year I found a wonderful group of Christian girls who studied with me, supported me, and learned right alongside me. Being able to laugh and sometimes cry with people who are experiencing the same stress, excitement, intimidation, and vulnerability as you are is absolutely essential to making it through nursing school!
As the semester went on, it became more and more challenging. The most difficult part for me was adapting to online classes as coronavirus continued to spread. We all felt a huge amount of anxiety as we tried to figure out lockdown browers, webcams, and online clinicals. I missed my nursing professors and my fellow nursing students so much during this time, but I was thankful for Zoom meetings and sweet online devotionals with my friends who helped me through the rest of the semester.
It seemed like the semester would never end, but before I knew it clinicals were complete, my assignments were submitted, and it was time to take my finals. Finals week was undeniably the hardest week of the semester. My stress levels were incredibly high as I anticipated the cumulative exams that covered so many months of learning. I remember going for a run before my pharmacology final, which I was most anxious about. I was literally shaking as I went over dozens of medications in my head. I finally just stopped mentally rehearsing pain meds, insulins, and tocolytics and prayed that God would somehow allow me to pass this exam. It was in that moment that I asked myself WHY I was doing what I was doing. Why make myself so anxious about an exam? Why was I in nursing school in the first place? When I stepped back to look at my why, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace pass over me. I couldn't possibly do this on my own, but I knew I went into nursing school out of a desire to serve others. This exam was not about me. If God truly wants me to be a nurse, He will give me the grace to get through nursing school. He will let me pass my pharmacology exam. Still fearful, but with a new sense of peace and strength, I somehow managed to pass my final and my pharmacology course. I can officially say that I am a college senior! It still feels surreal, but I have learned more than I would have thought possible over this semester, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. God has shown me so much grace and has absolutely used the challenges and even the confusion and chaos the coronavirus has caused to work in me as my first year in nursing came to a close.
I have no idea what this next year of nursing school will look like, but I am learned to embrace the uncertainty. I don't need to know every step of the way; I just need to take each semester, class, and moment at a time. I can't wait to share my journey with all of you!
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